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Stories about the things men carry but never say out loud. Written by one man figuring it out in real time. Start wherever it stings.
Arrived. Just Not Where You Expected.
Happiness is a dull, repetitive exercise. I took my Crocs off in the middle of a forest trail and understood something. Happiness isn't where you thought it was. On gratitude, hedonic adaptation, and learning to notice what's already here.
Unsaved Changes
Consciousness can make life extraordinary. It can also ruin a Tuesday. Sometimes both before breakfast.
I know what I should do.
Eat well. Train. Be present. Breathe before the reaction arrives — by the time you feel it, it's already moving.
The Algorithm Knows My Rising Sign
I have a confession that will surprise no one who has ever had a bad week.
Last winter, on a grey Tuesday, walking my dog through a neighbourhood that looked exactly as I felt — damp, directionless, slightly behind schedule — I opened YouTube and searched for a tarot reading. The most optimistic one I could find. Something about breakthroughs. Energies aligning.
Furious Stupidity
Stupidity makes me furious. And fury makes me stupid. That’s the loop.
I’m not a saint. I’m a man with childhood wounds. And if we’re honest, childhood wounds don’t come alone — they bring their friends: shame, fear, and the kind of old nervous-system panic that can hijack a grown man in a perfectly normal situation.
Second Time
I became a father the first time when I was still trying to become a man. I was in my early twenties. Married young. Carrying more responsibility than clarity.
I thought adulthood would arrive automatically. That marriage would make me stable. That fatherhood would make me wise. That if I stepped into the “adult world,” answers would meet me there. They didn’t.